God answers prayer and we must not forget what we have prayed for, because when He does answer it can bring you to your knees!
What am I talking about?
My prayers have never really been for self in the realm of physical healing, material means, or anything like that.
My prayers have always been, that I would not be deceived in any way such as self deception, religious deception, and worldly deception.
Another prayer for myself have always been for the LORD to search my heart, the secret chambers of my heart to see if there is any hidden sin within me. And if there is to please expose it to me, and forgive me for them but to HAVE MERCY when He does!
Because if there is deeply embedded hidden sin inside me it must be so buried and deadly, when it is revealed can be harmful even possibly destructive to my spiritual life.
Now I am going use an analogy of sorts to draw a picture that is easier to under my meaning behind this.
Let’s say you are wounded, (betrayed, lied on or to, a death,etc) nothing that appears deadly though it hurt, so you just forget about it. But, inside your body, (your heart) you could have gotten an infection deep within (unforgivness, bitterness) and be completely unaware of it for a long time. As the infection grows, there are some very obscure subtle signs but nothing to prompt you to go to the”physician”. (Jesus)
As the infection spreads over time things become a bit out of whack in other areas as well. You become sluggish, just tired, maybe aggravated for no real cause (you read more, you do more “good” things but in your own strength not God’s). Possible you begin to feel “off” and just do not understand why, it can be weeks or months after that incident so you do not put two and two together as the deep seeded cause. (Cry a lot, can’t sleep, feel lost and alone, angry, self pity,)
Finally you decide to go to the “physician” (Jesus) because you are feeling worse and worse (anger, hostile, aches and pains in your body everything is a challenge).
He orders a list of tests, (answering your prayer to be searched even the secret chambers of your heart) like, xrays, MRI, ultra sounds, cat scans you name it he searches the very secret chambers of your physical body to find the cause.
Finally he finds the cause, now it always seems like once an infection (buried sin) is found it becomes noticable now and you think how could I have not noticed this before, right? Kinda like a sore thumb. Lol
(Unforgivness towards the person or people that betrayed you, abused you, hurt you. You wanting to hurt them back, but you use God’s Word as an attack weapon and no longer a defensive weapon again your real enemy the devil. All the while not realizing you have fallen into a guile of bitterness and self righteousness).
The infection (sin) needs to be treated with antibiotics (prayer and repentance), but it also needs to be removed (the blood of Jesus Christ), possibly lanced so the infection can run out (by the Sword which is the Word of God daily), or it can be allowed to burst on it’s on. (You refusing to believe the problem is you until it finally bursts open) if you wait and let it run its course your blood could become infected and then death will occur.
(When sin is finished it brings forth death)
But once it is open it will pour forth yellow or green pus like ooze and the smell will be unbearable!
Sin is putrid to God, it is gross and it is a stench in His nostrils, we can never forget also, sin separates us from God. Sin is a deadly infection in your soul and if it goes untreated it will kill you.
We must always go to God, seeking Him, repenting for known and unknown sin. But it is not sufficient enough to ask to be forgiven for unknown sin we must ask what is that unknown sin so we do not continue to do it. So we can get it out of our hearts and lives and walk uprightly before Him as He forgives and cleanses us.
We cannot “heal” ourselves, we must go to God and by His strips we are HEALED that is talking about SPIRITUAL HEALINGS Btw .
We are not capable of walking upright on our own, which means righteous, we must receive the Righteousness of God through Jesus Christ. We will never be “equal” with God mind you, we are mortal men we will sin but not willfully but sin will cause us to fall as we walk in this life at times.
Shame, pride, remorse, these things can hold a person back from repentance these things the enemy will use to talk you out of repentance.
Shame by telling you, your sin is too great God won’t forgive something like you. He doesn’t want the likes of you in Heaven.
Pride by telling you, you are not like Hitler, or Stalin, or a child molester you are not “that” bad. You are a “good” person. You are not a “liar” you’ve only told “white” lies, taking that bank pen is not “really” stealing, keeping the extra change isn’t wrong. That person hurt me, God understands why I “hate” them. Sure I have looked at other men or women and had sexual thoughts, but I never acted on them.
(Jesus said if you “hate” a person in your heart you are a murderer, and Jesus said if you look on another person with sexual thoughts you commit adultery in your heart, you are guilty before God. )
Remorse by telling you, to clean yourself up “THEN” go to God and He will “accept” you. You cannot cleanse your soul of sin only Christ can.
For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. There is none good, no not one but My Father only. Without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sin. You must be born again. He who calls in the Name of the LORD Jesus Christ shall be saved. Though your sins be as scarlet He will make them white as snow. He will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
Sin is an infection of the soul the growing place is the heart.
So, I have been praying and seeking the Father to search me, search the secret chambers of my heart and see if there is anything inside of me that is putrid.
He answered my prayers, and He found things that I was unaware of. The day it all came to a “head” so to speak was Wednesday, just two days ago. Before it was removed, the build up of pressure was to much to handle alone. Just when He was just about to open it all up to let it drain out, I literally thought I was insane! I got so angry, I mean very angry and cussed three times! In anger calling someone so dear to me a horrible name, not once but three times! I was shaking, trembling, so distraught.
Then He opened it up and let it drain out of me! The stench! I saw myself for what I was! The horror!
Now is the healing process, the time of rest, the time of “antibiotics” which is the pure Word of God and fellowship with Him alone.
Rest time, a time to remember, repent, redo so He alone can restore!
Only God knows our hearts, only God knows the intention behind our actions or words. Only God, and this is why it is so important to ask Him to search our hearts, to try the reigns of our hearts and to cleanse us after he exposes any wickedness we may have in us.
Always pray for mercy when praying this much needed prayer. The truth He exposed in me almost destroyed me!
He loves us family in Christ, He wants none to perish but we must love Him so much that we are willing to see the ugliest of the ugly when it comes to what is in us in order for Him to cleanse us.
So this is why I will not be “doing” as I have been “doing”.
It is time to remember, repent, redo, and rest as He restores.
Go to the Creater, go to Jesus, He loves us so very much and wishes for none to perish but for all to have everlasting life which is HIM AND HIM ALONE!
Be safe, have a wonderful day and I pray someone who needed to know this walks away with a great understanding.