Before I was afflicted I went astray and did what I wanted without caring.
This photo is from 2017 after I was afflicted I returned to the Father and I do not regret it, nor can I walk away from Him.
Psa 119:67 Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word.
Psa 119:68 Thou art good, and doest good; teach me thy statutes.
Psa 119:69 The proud have forged a lie against me: but I will keep thy precepts with my whole heart.
Psa 119:70 Their heart is as fat as grease; but I delight in thy law.
Psa 119:71 It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.
Psa 119:72 The law of thy mouth is better unto me than thousands of gold and silver.
Yes, I am very much human with human emotions, but, I cannot allow those emotions to rule me. I must at all costs, which could cost me everyone and everything pick up my cross daily and follow Him.
Following Him means keeping His commandments, and doing the will of the Father. To love Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, to love Him more than dad, mom, son, daughter, or brother, sister, spouse, friend, even more than myself. I am to deny myself and my desires, my wants, and my needs and bring this body, soul, and mind unto subjection to Him.
Some will think this sounds like a fanatic, I say to you, to pick up that dust-covered book and open it up and read each Gospel and writings of Paul until it sinks in that when you are born again, your old self died on that Cross and that new birth is your life with Christ living in you. You are no longer your own, you have been bought with a price and we are to die daily so that Christ may live not only IN us but THROUGH us so others can see Him and not you.
I take every Word seriously and still I learn daily more and more. As I learn, I try to apply it to my life, and as of late learning what Romans 6 means has been a huge tug of war, a real battle between the flesh and the Spirit.
Rom 6:1 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?
Rom 6:2 God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?
Rom 6:3 Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death?
Rom 6:4 Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.
Rom 6:5 For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection:
Rom 6:6 Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.
Rom 6:7 For he that is dead is freed from sin.
Rom 6:8 Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him:
Rom 6:9 Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him.
Rom 6:10 For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God.
Rom 6:11 Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.
As Paul said, I live, but not I but Christ lives in me.
Please forgive me for being overwhelmed with sorrow and grief. With tears uncontrollable and heartache so real. This truly is a part of the process of dying to the flesh so that I can walk in the Spirit.
It has been a struggle, yet, ya know what? I would not trade it for anything cause it just means that the Father has turned that refiners fire up a notch and soon, oh very soon, as the silversmith fires the furnace hotter each time hotter for at least 7 times until he sees his reflection the Father will soon see His reflection in me and maybe then and only then can others see Him in me.
It is like the kernel of wheat that must fall into the ground and die before it can bring forth much fruit. That hardened shell around the wheat must come off, and in the ground in the dark away from the sunlight the shell is broken, it dies then life begins, when it is finished it will produce much fruit.
That is like each of us who are born again of the Spirit, we must go through the death process, that outer tough exterior must be broken that self-reliance must be done away with, at times it will feel as if we are all alone and in the dark away from the LIGHT of the Son, but it is at this time our outer shell is being broken and soon, oh very soon life will begin to grow and fruit will come forth! The fruit will be those who see Christ Jesus in you and will call upon the Name of the LORD and be saved! You may never know on this earth those you have affected or inspired but there will come a day you will meet them I believe.
2Co 4:7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.
2Co 4:8 We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;
2Co 4:9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;
2Co 4:10 Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.
2Co 4:11 For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus’ sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.
2Co 4:12 So then death worketh in us, but life in you.
2Co 4:13 We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I believed, and therefore have I spoken; we also believe, and therefore speak;
2Co 4:14 Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you.
2Co 4:15 For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.
2Co 4:16 For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.
I love each and every one of you with the love of God.