First Death, Then Fruit

Pamela JoyousNJesus McDonald 


Thankful for my elders in the LORD.

A study was sent me, then a chapter was posted that spoke to my spirit.

I cannot quit sharing the Truth, I cannot allow jokes about me, mocking about me, and the careless behavior divert me from being about the Fathers business!

I am to follow Jesus Christ and His example set before me. Not once did He even consider keeping His mouth shut or sit back and feel self pity because of the mockery.

Not once did He think that swimming against the current was too hard and to just go with the flow.


I love Him I need Him I want Him!!

There is no greater need in me than the need of Jesus Christ in my life.

Throughout this short walk the last few years, things have been thrown at me, things that would have made many turn away and go back into the world.

Yet, I held on tighter, not because I am better than anyone, but because I know my need for Jesus! I was in the lowest cesspool of filth when He reached down and cleansed me. He gave me life and a reason to wake up.

I know in Him and in His Word I have eternal life.

Looking back and remembering at how I was ran out of a church by gossip and jealousy.

How whispers and backbiting about me caused others to stumble and still stumble today.

How I was ripped apart by the mouths of others because in their mind God can’t use someone like me, that has such a horrible past.

How mouths and whispers tried to get my sisters husband against me and tear a wedge between us.

How someone told me horrible things about a Pastor and their family and land that the church was on, and then would go to the Pastor and talk about me. Becoming chummy with the same person they gossiped about.

How people put doubt in other Christians about me because the LORD taught me things in a short time of returning but they have served Him for years and He never taught them these things.

The list goes on and on, but no one knows, that I stayed away from the Church I grew up in and the Church I used to minister in, had nothing to do with being hurt, but was because I did not want to be a stumbling block to people.

I figured if I stayed away, they would not sin through whispers, murmurs, jealousy, and unforgiveness.

Then I was told I read the Bible too much, I cried too much, had a religious evil spirit…have been talked about and others that I trusted and love were involved.

Yet, behind the backs of the people they agreed it was wrong, yet, then go to the same people and ask them to pray for me or my family.

Yeah, I have been through a lot, but, still I could not give in to the self pity or walk away and take that drink or smoke that joint or even light a cigarette.


Because Christ is life!

He had never done me wrong nor will He.

The price that I was purchased with is so beyond my comprehension, that to honor Him and exalt Him without giving 100% would be shameful!

He has allowed these things to happen and take place, and I understand why.

These things that have taken place could have made me wither away like the seed that did not take root and the sun came out and it withered.

Or it could have been the seed that did have root but the troubles and cares chocked the life out.

But the seed landed in good ground, and when a seed is planted it must die.

Oh, the process of death is not fun but it is needed.

During this time, tears will come, sorrow will come, even a bit of depression and self pity occurs.

All of that is a part of the dying process, because when a seed dies, it will then bring forth much fruit!!! But it must DIE FIRST!

This is my third year and it is time for the Husbandman to come to me and see if there is fruit being produced. This is a very important time in life for a born again believer in Christ. Because if the fruit is not at least in the beginning process then the axe will be laid at the root.

Dying to this flesh is horrible, hurtful, and hard. But it is so very very important, because in that fruit Jesus Christ is glorified.

The LORD has been showing me things, all things, happen for a reason and nothing happens that He Himself has not allowed for our good.

I do not blame anyone anymore, I do not hold bitterness or unforgiveness towards anyone. I am thankful to every single person that has helped me get to this point of death to the flesh.

I want to thank my Elder and sister in the LORD Sherry Lynn Szada-Olinger and my Ekder and brother in the LORD Mark Cowan for posting and sharing with me the LORD puts in the spirit to do. You both minister to me more than you know and I am grateful, and thankful.

I love you both so much!


Matthew 13

18Hear ye therefore the parable of the sower. 19When any one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh the wicked one, and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart. This is he which received seed by the way side. 20But he that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that heareth the word, and anon with joy receiveth it; 21Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended. 22He also that received seed among the thorns is he that heareth the word; and the care of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, choke the word, and he becometh unfruitful. 23But he that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth it; which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.

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